Ah, greetings people and here we are at the end of another year. This is the time where we should be with our loved ones and trying to get drunk off the luxurious product known as eggnog. But instead you're at the Wiki because you love its users and you want to read a nice little holiday blog on behalf of myself (Teller) and the friendly community of the Wikia.

A Night By The Fire with Toppers T. McConnery

with Toppers T. McConnery

Hey Labi, YO RJ, lay down a beat for me boyos.

Now picture this, if you will. A rather handsome lookin' chap, cigarette in hand, a lady's buttocks in the other. He's soaking up the flames those burning logs are throwin' a-forward. He's about to tell you a story -- the story of how the young Heyzeus was brought into our charming little corner of the galaxy.

To be continued... Maybe.

Dishonored Review by Gabriel I. Auditore


Yes, you read that right, whalepunk. The very name of the genre has a unique feel to it, almost as if it's challenging you to think it's kidding. And while Dishonored borrows elements from other well known titles such as Deus Ex, Thief, Half-Life and of course, Assassin's Creed, it is in reality, quite different, and unique in the way it seamlessly blends those elements together.


Corvo Attano Unmasked Render

Corvo Attano.

The game begins with you stepping into the shoes of Corvo Attano, Lord Protector to the Empress, returning to Dunwall after your voyage across the Isles. However, you don't really have time to admire the scenery, as soon afterwards, the Empress is murdered right in front of you, and her daughter kidnapped by teleporting, gas-mask wearing Assassins, who render your efforts at protecting either futile. The Royal Spymaster Hiram Burrows appears right after the deed is done, and seeing nothing other than the blade in your hand and the Empress dead next to you, deems it fit to imprison you, and sentence you to beheading.

And thus, the story begins - six months after the unfortunate event, on the day before your execution. Helped out of prison by some unknown allies, Corvo begins his quest for vengeance. Because "Revenge Solves Everything."™

The characters and their interactions were believable, and their emotions well portrayed. Personally, I enjoyed the rivalry between Anton Sokolov and Piero Joplin - the two inventors in the game; and Corvo's father-like relationship with Emily Kaldwin, heir to the throne.

Without spoiling the game, I can say Dishonored had an engaging story, with a few forgivable flaws and some surprising twists. I give the story a 9/10.


What I absolutely loved about Dishonored was the sheer level of choice afforded to the player. Asides from there being several physical routes to the target, there were several methods to complete the mission, including multiple ways to murder or non-lethally neutralize the target, with varying levels of stealth, combat, and quests involved - all dependent on Corvo's actions.

Words cannot do justice to the gameplay in Dishonored, but I'll try to highlight the better points anyway. The combat was polished, with an effective countering system and a wide array of weapons for Corvo, including a crossbow, pistol, grenades, and various supernatural abilities granted to Corvo as a gift from The Outsider. For those preferring the stealthy route, free-running across rooftops, teleporting from cover to cover, drop-assassinating in true Assassin's Creed fashion or simply rendering the enemy unconscious with a sleeper hold were some of the many options for stealth-based gameplay. And upgrading Corvo's equipment and/or abilities towards your play-style is just another way of the game emphasizing on the importance of player choice.

I did feel a few more things could be added though, such as more melee weapons for one. As someone who got both "Clean Hands" (didn't kill anyone) and "Ghost" (never detected) on his first playthrough, I would've appreciated more non-lethal weaponry/abilities, such as chemical-based weaponry to knock out groups of foes.

The gameplay and replayability both receive perfect 10/10s from me, while the game gets a solid 8/10 for innovation.


The graphics presented in Dishonored were vivid, and detailed - even on the consoles, though it looks significantly better on PC, though the characters could have slightly smaller hands. The UI was subtle, and fit the theme of the game perfectly. With a decent soundtrack and stellar voice-acting by an all-star cast, Dishonored's audio lives up to expectations as well, netting the game a 9/10 in the Graphics/Audio section.


Dishonored was one of the highlights this year in the world of gaming, and I highly recommend it, primarily for the memorable gameplay. I also consider it to be one of the best game released this year alongside Halo 4 and Assassin's Creed III. My final verdict is given below:

*Final score:

And to wrap this up with my own spin on the best part of EGM's reviews:

  • The Good: Gameplay, replayability, and lots of choice.
  • The Bad: A glitch here and there.
  • The Ugly: Rats. Rats everywhere!

Teller Reviews - Assassin's Creed 3

Assassin's Creed 3

The following is presented by myself, Teller. (I implore you not to take some of this review seriously, some is intended for comical purposes) This also contains a large amount of spoilers.

After 7 months of waiting it finally came; the big one, the last one and the one that made me cry in joy like a little girl. The fifth installment to the Assassin's Creed trilogy... wait what? Oh, this is Assassin's Creed 3. Where to begin? Well before I go into any major detail I may aswell state this; I did not get my hopes up, Revelations was somewhat a disappointment to the franchise and although I did "like it" somewhat I do believe they could've done better. But this game certainly lived up to the hype and I squealed like a little girl the night I got it. Indeed, this game was one of the greatest I have ever played, though there were some downsides. Let's progress...

Plot/Story Progression (7/10)

The Bad

I must say this story has got to have one of the most unbalanced story progressions I have seen in a game since I played Super Meatboy. You start off as Desmond with entering the Grand Temple and all that jazz, you start off as Haytham Kenway and gradually follow him for 3 sequences. So it starts off rather steadily and then it speeds up when you start as Haytham's son Connor. Oh, did I mention Haytham's a Templar? Yeah, probably should have mentioned that. But anyway, this slow plot progression speeds up until it's extremely fast to not answer any questions; what happened to Samuel Adams and the gang? Why did Connor continue to help George Washington until he proved Charles Lee a traitor? These types of questions are not answered in the game and would have been a good asset to know.

The story they had in mind was not bad, in fact it was one of the many old ones but always a good one. Son's father is the enemy and is forced to kill him, it's been done before but the premise is still good but it feels as though they didn't drag that out well. Now, there is one thing that gets on my nerve about the story in general; the Boxart character. This is the character we want to play and instead we're stuck with 5 sequences of stuff that seems like prologue to play the character which we payed for. If I was a game writer which I am not unfortunately, I would have made this two completely separate games with Desmond dragging Connor's story and Abstergo witnessing Haytham's. After all, they're able to access Connor's memories when Desmond-- Oh shit. There's another thing.

The ending. The thing that makes me want to cringe and go apes*** on the developers, Desmond touches a glowy sphere thing and dies to save humanity. The end. But seriously, they could not have played out this more badly, I can see the concept and hell, it even becomes more tolerable as I watch it but no; they just didn't play it out right. I'm sorry Ubisoft, you just didn't.

The Good

ACIII-HideandSeek 12

A young Connor being dragged away from his mother.

The Good is very limited in my honest opinion, the story was not the most compelling thing in this game. The concepts which they laid the foundation for was great; father's an enemy and you need to take him down. Solid story and there were some moments which just touched your heart. I'm not going to lie, when Connor's mother was killed during the village burning I almost cried. Almost (cause I'm a man and men don't cry unless it's The Notebook).

Then there were some of those intense moments which I had enjoyed thoroughly; the Battle of Bunker Hill, chasing Charles Lee and especially marching through forts Rambo style. Which may not be apart of the main story but would still be listed under the category. I know the title says progression but come on, those moments were just so intense.

I did enjoy the Homestead missions and especially...

*Spoiler*Achilles death*Spoiler*

Though there was one thing that had bothered me about the Homestead missions;

*Spoiler*Myriam & Norris get married.*spoiler*

But before the wedding; Myriam has disappeared and Norris is worried sick so I locate her and was chasing her. She was going on about she could never be tied down. Next moment; a wedding. Seriously? Couldn't think of a convincing argument?

To conclude; though the story had such a good concept, it was rushed and not well presented. I would have originally given it an 8 but that ending deducts a point from it. Though the ending to Liberations may lead up to it, if you have a PS Vita I'd recommend buying that and for those who don't; YouTube it. So my score for the story/plot progression would be a 7/10 for it's unbalanced pace and five sequences of Prologue.

Gameplay (9.5/10)

It actually proved quite difficult to find something I did not enjoy in this game. I loved it in terms of gameplay, I enjoyed the hunting, fighting and cinematic-type missions. It was fantastic, the only properly bad thing I picked up on by people's complaints were the bugs. Which I never really noticed in all honesty, there were those moments where my Connor would go flying but he'd always come back on his feet. But I do give Ubisoft credit, they do try and compensate for these bugs with patches.

ACIII-HuntingLessons 3

A teenage Connor preparing a snare.

The hunting gameplay was well done in my opinion, the Frontier was a great place to travel and the challenge of finding a particular animal in a particular place (namely the center because of those builds) was challenging but not to the extent where you want to rage. The interactive cutscene with the battle against an animal became repetitive but I stand by my original analysis.

Combat has improved so much, feeling more fluent to the game and adding more brutality to its kills. Considering how this is meant to be a stealth-action game, brutality was obviously the one thing it needed. AHA! Stealth! Did you guys know, just crouching in a bush with all your weapons lead nobody to suspect you of being in there and just confuse them? I sure didn't. But I digress, a truly top notch game in terms of gameplay and that's why I'm giving it a 9.5/10.

Graphics (7.8/10)

Graphics are fairly average in my honest opinion, maybe because I'm a console gamer but I have to stand by this decision. Desmond looks more like a monkey in this game but as it goes on his head actually gets less "long" which I happen to find hilarious. But that's beside the point, the graphics are not that good at the very beginning; leading me to believe that it would get better which it kind of did. But didn't live up to my expectations which were severely high, perhaps that's what is affecting my judgment. Either way, I happen to lead this review off with a graphics rating of 7.8/10.

Final Verdict

Ah, the final verdict. I'm going to take a traditional review and add up all the scores.




This all leads up to the grand score of 24.3/30. An excellent score and earning my seal of Approval

A Lovely Little Christmas Poem

Twas a cold Christmas night, little Tommy was up.

He looked out the window, onto the rooftops.

A shadow was seen, one knife in his hand.

It was the shadow, of a hooded man.

Tommy studied the man and all who may follow.

He was lead inside, a ruined old hollow.

Inside he had found, a quiet small lair.

With the obstacles inside, his clothes started to tear.

He obtained an object, one with certain power.

Used it to gain, control of a tower.

He was soon the boss, corrupted and greedy.

Gave to rich, spat on the needy.

Tommy was hunted, by that one hooded man.

Lured him in, to an innocent van.

Looking behind him, Tommy saw elves.

And a fat hooded man, hiding on shelves.

Tommy was laughing, and fell on the ground.

The man charged furiously and no body was found.

Tommy was gone, not dead, not alive.

But regretting the day, Santa Clause died.

A Lovely Carol To Sing To Your Neighbors

Weird Al - The Night Santa Went Crazy
Lyrics and Video
The Night Santa Went Crazy04:03

The Night Santa Went Crazy

That Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys

For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys

When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death

Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath

From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo

Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo

And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,

"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it

Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet

And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage

And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage

He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger

And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger

And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen

And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy

The night Kris Kringle went nuts

Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole

Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.

There's a van from the Eyewitness News

And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky

And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'

And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?

My my my my my my

You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time

In a federal prison for his infamous crime

Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears

He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years

But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous

And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service

And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night

With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nicholas flipped

Broke his back for some milk and cookies

Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy

The night St. Nick went insane

Realized he's gettin' a raw deal

Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain

Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

The Bi-Monthly AC Community Fan Appreciation Day

Ah, everyone here are Assassin's Creed fans? No? Well, I suppose you best be leaving. Anyway, for months now I had seen some great new Fan stuff being added to and outside the Wiki and I believe we should have a showcase. Every 2 months we'll be showing off the awesome fan stuff (fully credited) and I hope you guys enjoy.

Starting: January 25th


Now, I love Christmas. I have ever since I was a kid but do not dismiss out every other holidays there are. I would name a few but I honestly do not have much knowledge based on religious holidays. (Christmas being the only exception) So Happy Holidays to all!

I'd like to say Merry Christmas to;

Our Amazing Staff:

  • Slate
  • Kaloneous
  • BlaiddDdraig
  • Stormbeast
  • GuardDog
  • Elchzard
  • DarkFeather
  • Nesty

And our awesome 'Crats:

  • Master Sima Yi
  • Vatsa

Let's not forget the IRC Regulars:

  • Animusradiation
  • Toppers
  • Kaishiro
  • Assassinist
  • Rika
  • Bonzi
  • GodofDeath
  • ChrizC
  • War Clown
  • Anexas
  • Shaun

Our astonishing Apprentices:

  • Emerald
  • GI Auditore
  • Il Mualim
  • Arcemz
  • Kainzorus Prime

And even our Irish Com-Dev:

  • Sick-Steeny

And especially you guys, the editors, blog viewers and talkers. You guys are what make this community great. I hope you enjoyed this blog and leave a comment wishing your comrades a merry Christmas! In light of the event, I have also requested friendly neighborhood Spiderm-- I mean, Gabriel Auditore to present an awesome Christmas userbox for all the users of the Wiki to add to their page.

Code: {{Template:UserXMas2012}}

Merry Christmas from,
Teller and the Community at ACWiki :D


This blog was not as big as last years but we did have some participants in the creation so;

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