ACS DB Thames Brewery Pale Ale

London - 1868


There's a very easy joke to be made here about the purity of the Thames as compared to the quality of this beer, but I'm not going to make it. No, such an obvious jab doesn't do true justice to the vileness of this drink. On every level on which it is possible to enjoy beer, this one is a spectacular failure. It tastes like the inside of a carburettor, it looks like something my uncle Rory had drained from a growth on his foot, and the smell - well, just be thankful that Abstergo hasn't added Smell-O-Vision technology to the Helix interface yet. I loaded this up on one of the old Animus 3.0 rigs, and now everything smells of bin juice. I think I need a CAT scan.

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