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Database: Poor Richard's Almanack - 1738 (Vol.2)

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V Mon. July hath xxxi days.

One month a Lawyer, thou the next will be
A grave Physician, and the third a Priest:
Chuse quickly one Profession of the three,
Marry'd to her thou yet may'st court the rest
Resolve at Once; deliberate no more;
Leap in, and stand not shiv'ring on the Shore.
On any one amiss thou can'st not fall;
Thou'lt end in nothing, if thou grasps at all.

Since I cannot govern my own tongue tho' within my own teeth, how can I hope to govern the tongues of others?
Tis less discredit to abridge petty charges, than to stoop to petty Gettings.
Since thou art not sure of a minute, throw not away an hour.

VI Mon. August hath xxxi days.

While faster than his costive Brain indites,
Philo's quick Hand in flowing Nonsense Writes,
His Case appears to me like honest Teague's,
When he was run away with by his Legs.
Phaebus, give Philo o'er himself Command;
Quicken his Senses, or restrain his Hand;
Let him be kept from Paper, Pen and Ink;
So he may cease to write and learn to think.

If you do what you should not, you must hear what you would not. Defer not thy well doing; be not like St George, who is always a horseback and never rides on. Wish not so much to live long, as to live well.

VII Mon. September hath xxx days.

These lines may be read backward or forward.

Joy, Mirth, Triumph, I do defie;
Destroy me Death, fain would I die:
Forlorn am I, Love is exil'd,
Scorn smiles thereat Hope is beguil'd,
Men banish'd bliss, in Woe must dwell,
Then Joy, Mirth, Triumph, all farewell. As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence.

I have never seen the Philosopher's Stone that turns lead into Gold, but I have known the pursuit of it turn a Man's Gold into Lead. Never intreat a servant to dwell with thee.

VIII Mon. October hath xxxi days.

A doubtful meaning:

The Female kind is counted ill:
And is indeed: The contrary;—
No Man can find: That hurt they will
But every where: Shew Charity:
To no Body; Malicious still;
In word or Deed: Believe you me.

Time is an herb that cures all Diseases. Reading makes a full Man—Meditation a profound Man—discourse a clear man. If any man flatters me, I'll flatter him again, tho' he were my best friend.

IX Mon. November hath xxx days.

A Monster in a Course of Vice grown old,
Leaves to his gaping Heir his ill-gain Gold;
The Preacher fee'd, strait are his Virtues shown
And render'd lasting by the sculpture'd Stone.
If on the Stone or Sermon we rely,
Pity a Worth like his, should ever die!
If Credit to his real Life we give,
Pity a Wretch like him, should ever live.

Wish a miser long life, and you wish him no good. None but the well-bred man knows how to confess a fault, or acknowledge himself in an error. Drive thy business; let not that drive thee. There is much difference between imitating a good man, and counterfeiting him.

X Mon. December hath xxxi days.

The Wiseman says, it is a Wiseman's Part
To keep his Tongue close Prisoner in his Heart.
If he then be a Fool whose Thought denies
There is a God, how desp'rately unwise,
How much more Fool is he, whose Language shall
Proclaim in public, there's no God at all:
What then are they, nay Fools in what degree,
Whose Actions shall maintain't?—Such Fools are we.

Wink at small faults—remember thou hast great ones.
Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others.
Search others for their virtues, thyself for thy vices.
Never spare the Parson's wine, nor Baker's Pudding.
Each year one vicious habit rooted out,
In time might make the worst man good throughout.

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